Selig Finally Did Something Right, Almost

First, let us apologize. We know this is supposed to be a blog about politics, and that’s what most have come expecting to read. But we at the Texian Party are also big Baseball fans and we couldn’t let this go without a comment.

As some of you may know, Major League Baseball will begin randomly testing players for steroid use. Well, its about time. The integrity of the game has been suffering far too long. Here’s an example: Who owns the single-season homerun record? Barry Bonds? No, he uses steroids. Mark McGuire? No, he used a supplement that was banned by every other professional sport league other than Baseball, and even Baseball has since banned it. Sammy Sosa? No, he corks his bat. Roger Maris? Yes*. Now, the single-season homerun record is considered the most celebrated record in all North American professional sports. But the last three players to attempt to claim a piece of it were all later found out to be cheaters.

Yes, Baseball never really banned steroids like all the other sports leagues have, so technically Bonds and McGuire weren’t really cheating. But we argue that even if it was “legal,” it’s still cheating. For example, prostitution is legal in Nevada. But if a married man hires a prostitute in Nevada, would his wife still consider that cheating? Oh, yeah. Big time. Likewise, even though Baseball never really banned steroids until recently, Bonds was still cheating when he used them. He was destroying the integrity of the game, just like the cheating husband was destroying the integrity of his marriage. Why do we say his actions threatened the integrity of the game? Because he became the best ballplayer of his generation not by talent, skill, and practice, but by artificially enhancing his natural abilities.

Let’s look at it from another perspective, the perspective of the rookie making his first tour in the Majors. He has achieved what every American boy dreams about, playing in a big league park. Certainly he doesn’t want to lose this dream. So he starts to figure out how to stay there. He looks around and he sees Barry Bonds hitting 73 homeruns. So, he says to himself, “I have to hit a lot of homeruns if I want to stay here.” So he starts training and practicing, but he can’t seem to get the ball out of the park. Then someone comes by and mentions that Bonds is using steroids, and it’s OK because Baseball won’t test you for it. Now this young player has a decision to make. He can keep practicing and he might be able to stay in the Majors, or he can take the easy way like Bonds and definitely stay. And here’s the problem. The young rookie on his way up feels pressured to start taking steroids. If he doesn’t, he’ll be muscled out by the guys who do. THEY will get the big contracts. THEY will get the SportsCenter highlights. THEY will get all the fans. Meanwhile, he’ll probably end up back in the minors because he refused to cheat on his love. That’s the tragedy that threatens the heart and soul of Baseball. That is why kids today have fewer and fewer role models in Baseball.

Now Baseball is finally doing something about it. From now on there will be random testing for steroids. Players who are found using steroids will get a 10 day suspension. We at the Texian Party don’t think this is going far enough. We believe that any player who threatens the integrity of the game by cheating should be suspended for one full year. That means if you’re caught using steroids, or a corked bat (listening Sammy?), or a spit-ball, or anything, you will not play another game for one full year. Let’s see Bonds try to break Hank Aaron’s record if he has to sit out for a year. If you’re caught cheating a second time, then you’re banned for life. Baseball banned Pete Rose (and rightly so) for gambling because his actions threatened the integrity of the game. Bonds, Sosa, and all the other cheating players are doing the same damage to the game, so their punishment should be the same.

Baseball is the greatest game ever devised by man. I doubt even the angels could improve it. It teaches dedication, endurance, humility, and teamwork. Every human virtue is praised in Baseball. Therefore, every human vice should be condemned in Baseball.

–J.E. Heath
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